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Devastated - needing support!

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Jun 16th, 2015, 21:21 PM  
BowsAndHearts
SoSlim Newbie
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK, Leeds
Posts: 42
Likes: 12

Devastated - needing support!

My friend and I started slimming world together, she weighed more than me and in about 3 months she has lost 4 stone!!

Every week I feel like I am in competition with her, I've only lost a stone. I could rationalised it to myself at first, because she had a lot more to lose. But now she is only a stone away from my current weight (my starting weight) and today she has lost 7lbs in a week!!

I am devastated, I feel like I keep losing the competition because she is losing weight so fast!

I am just so gutted that I am finding this so hard and it is just dropping off her. She tells everyone she meets how much she has lost and how hard it is - hard?! hard?! She has only ever put on in 1 week in 3 months!!

I am finding it so hard to be happy for her. :'( Every week I am just in tears because it's just not happening as fast for me and she doesn't have a clue how hard it is!

I have tried talking to her about it and she just says 'keep going, a pound is still a pound' but that doesn't help!! I even stopped going to group with her so I didn't have to put myself through it every week - but now she just txts me, it's horrible replying to a txt saying someone has lost 5lbs by saying 'I've maintained'.

How do you cope with it? I am finding it so difficult.

 
 
Jun 16th, 2015, 21:46 PM  
cornishpisky
Socially Shy
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 5
Likes: 3

I would so love to be able to give you some pearls of wisdom Bows&Hearts (I almost typed B&H then realised the faux pas!!). All I can think of you have already spotted... I can only think that perhaps she has not really grasped just how hard you are finding, being in almost competition with her... might it help to show her your post?

You know its not a competition about who loses most, most quickly, but more about slow & steady wins the race. Losing it too quickly can make it unsustainable in the long term, but I am sure these are things you know already. I had 2 and a half stones to lose, and lost it I felt, quite slowly, 1lb here, 2lbs there, the odd 3lb, many STS & a few gains, but I got there, and I really think its because it came off slowly, that I have managed to maintain target since 2009. I also inspired several people to start SW, and whilst it gives me no pleasure to say it, those people have ALL gained the weight back. They remain in awe of me to have kept it off, but I dont say a word, just accept the praise, with a knowing smile....

Keep the faith B&H (sorry - irresistible!)
 
Jun 16th, 2015, 21:51 PM  
huntress
Maintainer
SoSlim Rising Star
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Here,there everywhere.
Posts: 832
Likes: 109

Never compare yourself to anyone else.

Some lose it quickly others are slow losers.Do you exercise more than your friend? Have you lost inches instead of weight.Is your friend sticking to Slimming World or is she cutting out meals? Hers will slow down and she will stop losing large amounts every week.

Stick with it and you will see results.
 
Jun 16th, 2015, 22:04 PM  
BowsAndHearts
SoSlim Newbie
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK, Leeds
Posts: 42
Likes: 12

Thanks guys.
I don't really know much about what she is eating anymore as I have distanced myself from her a lot because of it.
I will stick with it and I haven't lost faith. It's just so disappointing.
I've tried to talk to her about this - but she just doesn't really get it.
I spoke to my mum - yes at nearly 30 she is still the first person I go to when upset - she's been dieting all her life and she has said she has never known someone lose that much in a week when being on a diet for so long. It usually slows down the longer you follow a meal plan - she says, 3 or 4lbs a week she could agree with, but not 7lbs. My friend once lost 8lbs in one week.
My mum reckons something may not all right and she probs isn't getting all the nutrients her body needs.
I'm not sure though. :/

Thanks for the support xx
 
Jun 16th, 2015, 22:15 PM  
huntress
Maintainer
SoSlim Rising Star
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Here,there everywhere.
Posts: 832
Likes: 109

Too lose that amount nearly every week you have to be doing a VLCD.First and second weeks on a 'diet' you can loss large amounts if you have a lot to lose but it does slow down.
 
Jun 16th, 2015, 23:41 PM  
PrincessPikachu
Maintainer
SoSlim Addict
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 2,743
Likes: 285

It does seem a lot to be losing consistently. Everyone's different though, so it could be possible. I know it is so hard when other people lose quicker, do try and think of it though that you're losing slowly so it's more likely to stay off. And you know where we all are for a rant
 
Jun 17th, 2015, 08:07 AM  
Bevziibubble
Maintainer
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 6,669
Likes: 660

Everyone loses weight at different rates. That does sound like a lot to lose in one week so I don't think that she will continue to lose this amount over the long term. It should all even out over time
 
 
Jun 17th, 2015, 09:51 AM  
sarahc4536
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Manchester
Posts: 2,754
Likes: 687

I've been a member of a group for almost 5 years (I'm the numpty that put it all back on whilst still going to group!) and I've never known someone to lose so much every single week, without then reverting back and gaining a load of it to have to start again. Who knows what she's doing, but it can't be good for her, and I reckon she'll get to a point where she will start to lose that 1lb a week like a lot of us do already (I've had one big loss of 3lb in the entire time I've been at SW, not matter how hard I try!), and then it'll start to bother her and before she knows it, she's gone over her syns a few times and she'll put some back on. She may be avoiding syns for the most part, which is never a good thing. Everyone gets to that point where they feel they're missing out and binge (I've done it, and known lots of others to do the same)

I know it's really disheartening to see someone with big losses when you only lose 1-2lb each time, I'm the same as you, and I see all these people who come in with huge losses, and it bugs the life out of me that I can't even have just one singular loss of more than 2lb... I'd settle for 4lb for just one week lol!

The only thing I can say is to keep at it. I know it's annoying to hear, but losing it slower does mean that you've got more chance of maintaining it for the long term, just look at cornishpisky! (Very well done you for keeping it off )
And nothing wrong with going to mum when you're upset, that's why they're there!
 
Jun 17th, 2015, 11:10 AM  
Bonnieboobear
SoSlim Newbie
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Southwest
Posts: 57
Likes: 22

Is there any way you can go to another group B&H? I only say that because witnessing everyone else losing 'normally' might help you to put it all in perspective.

I agree with what everyone else says - we are playing a long game here and you are only seeing half of the picture at the moment - wait and see how it pans out, I recon you will be pleasantly surprised!

Keep on carrying on :-)
 
 
Jun 21st, 2015, 01:12 AM  
asheighjane
SoSlim Newbie
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 22
Likes: 2

Fast isn't always necessarily better though!

I should think if your friend is losing this much weight, and also saying it is really difficult, she is probably depriving herself a bit too much, and this can't be sustained forever.

I would say it's better to go slow, eat in a way that can be sustained long term, and keep the weight off than to lose it quick then put it all back on because you can't cope with the deprivation!

That said, everyone is different, so she could be following the plan normally.

Either way, it doesn't matter. Your slimming world journey is about YOU. You're not in competition with any one. Just keep following the plan, and try not to miss groups, they're so important. Even if you have to go to a different one than your friend.
 
 
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