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May 7th '17, 15:26 PM  
Bbarb
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Join Date: May 2017
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Slimming by proxy - a newbie question

My husband was sent to slimming world on a free 12 week course and is expecting me to diet for him. (I'm 5ft tall and weigh 7st 7lb) but although I'm happy to cook for him and attend meetings with him, I'm refusing to fill his food diary in for him.
Our consultant doesn't seem to have a problem with this, but I feel he won't learn anything if he leaves it all up to me.
He's type 2 diabetic and weighs 19st 12lb so has a problem, he's been trying to lose weight for years he has a physical job and says he never feels 'full'.
I've been secretly listing his food intake (all weighed and measured) with 'myfitnesspall' - should I just give in and fill that blooming diary in for him, or leave him to do it?
 
May 7th '17, 15:48 PM  
sarahc4536
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Because I'm so bloody stubborn (to a fault sometimes!) I'd make him do it himself
It's the only way he will realise what he needs to change, etc.
Say there's one week where he has a maintain/gain, if he had his diary he can look back and realise where he's gone wrong. Also he can hand that diary to his consultant and they will be able to point out anything they see where he needs improvement.

But like I said, I'm just very stubborn and refuse to do anything that other people don't want to do... it might get me sacked one day haha


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May 8th '17, 11:12 AM  
Bbarb
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Join Date: May 2017
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Thank you Sarah. That was my reaction and that's why I haven't done any food lists for him. I may not be overweight myself but several years ago I did have a lot of trouble losing the baby weight and still have to keep in line to stop myself bingeing and piling on the pounds. We are farmers and he does a lot of hard physical work, 12 hrs a day for 7 days a week - so more exercise won't work (unless its picking up a bl88dy pen!)
As I said, I use the site 'my fitness pal' which is great at tracking the amount of food you're eating (but its in calories, fats and carbs) so I've opened up an account for him and list his foods on his account when I do mine.
I'm hoping the consultant will tell him to shift himself and take responsibility for his own eating instead of offloading it onto me - but she seemed quite happy when he said 'Oh she'll do that'. She expects me to do the food diary for him which I thought was a bit out of order. Actually I think he'd get more out of the meetings if he went alone because I can see he's not taking a word in during the discussions because he knows I'm listening and learning syns etc.
I need that consultant to back me up.
 
May 9th '17, 01:24 AM  
DaisyCat
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Ireland
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Quote:
Quote by Bbarb View Post
Thank you Sarah. That was my reaction and that's why I haven't done any food lists for him. I may not be overweight myself but several years ago I did have a lot of trouble losing the baby weight and still have to keep in line to stop myself bingeing and piling on the pounds. We are farmers and he does a lot of hard physical work, 12 hrs a day for 7 days a week - so more exercise won't work (unless its picking up a bl88dy pen!)
As I said, I use the site 'my fitness pal' which is great at tracking the amount of food you're eating (but its in calories, fats and carbs) so I've opened up an account for him and list his foods on his account when I do mine.
I'm hoping the consultant will tell him to shift himself and take responsibility for his own eating instead of offloading it onto me - but she seemed quite happy when he said 'Oh she'll do that'. She expects me to do the food diary for him which I thought was a bit out of order. Actually I think he'd get more out of the meetings if he went alone because I can see he's not taking a word in during the discussions because he knows I'm listening and learning syns etc.
I need that consultant to back me up.
At your weight you don't have to go at all. Give him a kick up the bum (and indirectly the consultant) and let him get on with it but with your help in the food shopping/cooking/advice department. He has to decide that he needs to take responsibility for his weight. Harsh but true.
 
 
May 9th '17, 12:47 PM  
Bbarb
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Join Date: May 2017
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Actually I was pleased they allowed me to stay because I agree its important I get my head round this, but I also think its more important that he gets a grip on what he's eating.
For example, yesterday he finished work early because he was going to a meeting at 7.30 where there would be a buffet. He said he wanted to eat first at home so he wouldn't want to tuck in ..... so I opened a SW chicken and black bean frozen meal and cooked some of that slim rice. We had sugar free orange jelly and some squirty cream (3 dessertspoons).
I wasn't hungry so left mine till later. When I came back later to get mine, he'd eaten the lot but its syn free anyway so I thought it would be OK. (I had an omelette with cheese). I said that if he felt silly not eating the buffet just to help himself to a huge plateful of lettuce and salads without dressing, and pick at it with a fork.
This morning I actually asked him what he'd had, and after a bit of woffeling he said he's had 'a few chips, a small piece of quiche and a quarter of a pork pie'.
I rest my case!
 
May 9th '17, 23:19 PM  
DaisyCat
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Men! :-d
 
 
May 24th '17, 14:29 PM  
Wobbles
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Hi and welcome to Social Slimmers

Sounds like hubby needs a boot up the bum it is really good and would be really good for him to have you support him with the food plan if you eat together and are the main cook in the house? I think it's important for those of us eating healthier for whatever reason to have the support of our partners, it helps.

Good luck all round x
 
 
May 27th '17, 11:39 AM  
Bbarb
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Join Date: May 2017
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Its been three weeks now and I've been going with him and sitting quietly in my chair gently bored out of my tiny mind. (I lost my own weight over 20 years ago and have managed to stay at around 8stone ever since). I don't eat cake or biscuits and watch my fats but apart from that I don't think of syns or SP days and thought I cooked accordingly.
Now I'm weighing his food and noting the syns and extras in my head (still not going to write them down for him) and was surprised by how much fat had crept back into our daily diet - so that has to be remedied - but its portion control that is his main downfall I think. because of his job, I do all the cooking as its just not feasible for him to spend the time in the kitchen. He doesn't stop all day except for lunch, and in the evenings he just flops in his chair and sleeps (Gd knows how he sleeps at night, but he does) he's getting old and is quite shattered although won't retire.
He followed the 'usual' pattern, the first week he lost 8lb and thought 'this is a doddle', but I found an empty 6 pack of walkers crisps in the well of his landrover, along with a wrapper from a cadbury's fruit and nut bar. Horrid of me, but I was quite pleased when he'd gained a pound at the next weigh-in.
Last week another 6lbs had gone, he told her that her scales were wrong, but I think the secret eating has stopped.
He'd originally told the young consultant that it was impossible for him to lose weight as he'd always been heavy, and last week she hit on the idea of 'challenging' him publicly to prove her wrong on the condition he stuck rigidly to the rules. I think she's struck the right note.
Next Wednesday will be interesting. He's been on a sheep-buying trip with some farming friends for three days, and there won't be any home cooking apart from that of the host's wives's (imagine all those apple pies and homemade chocolate cake with cream!). I wonder how much of the regime will have stuck in his brain - I bet they're all in the nearest pub every evening though. Lets see.
 
May 29th '17, 14:34 PM  
rump
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Join Date: May 2017
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looks interesting, hello there
 
 
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