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Jun 16th, 2014, 17:35 PM  
TwylaDee
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Fat Shaming

My cousin and I were having a conversation yesterday about fat shaming and how acceptable it seems to be to do this to people.

As an example, she was telling me that she recently went to dinner with her husband and the waitress gave her a rude look when they asked for a dessert menu. They were celebrating their anniversary, not that she should have felt the need to justify herself to a restaurant employee for something she was eating. That rude look made her feel horrible.

I haven't had that happen to me yet (that I've noticed) but I have been treated that way by friends when they remind me that I need to lose weight as if suddenly I may have forgotten it. I was out with a friend several weeks ago and we stopped for a quick bite to eat. As we were eating, she looked at my plate and said, "I thought you were dieting". I was eating a tuna salad sandwich!
 
Jun 16th, 2014, 18:13 PM  
GingerJV
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I have mixed feelings about this question. When my friends said i need to lose weight it was more like motivation for me! They helped me to take actions and start a diet! But of course my friends told me all that stuff nicely without being rude. But as for strangers and people i do not know...hmmm.. it is not their business...it is my body.. and if i saw or get some rude comments on my body i would definitely asnwered them back...with not very nice words;-))
 
Jun 16th, 2014, 22:14 PM  
Wobbles
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You always know when someone has a silent opinion on what you're eating and it's beyond rude likewise when friends make comments you 'know' it's an unnecessary comment regardless of what you're eating!
 
 
Jun 17th, 2014, 00:13 AM  
Befit
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i think when someone just blurt it out that way it is very rude for me its mean they make a judgment ...
over a year ago my brother came to visit for xmas and we were together alone in the Kitchen ( i think he made sure of that btw..) and then he told me he was worried as he never saw me that big before. Of course first reaction is to be a little bit taken back by someone basically telling you that you got really fat but i knew deep down that he was concern for me and actually him doing that made me start my journey so yes i think really depend on the person that telling you and how the message is deliver as well.
 
 
Jun 17th, 2014, 05:45 AM  
Bevziibubble
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That was really rude of the waitress. Some people can be very judgemental and just don't think before saying things. I think any kind of body shaming is wrong. When I used to work in a cafe, I had a colleague who was quite underweight and tried everything to gain weight but just couldn't. A customer said to her one day 'god you are so skinny!' She just lost it and told her to shut up and sit down. The customer looked really shocked and my colleague said to her 'well would you say to a fat people "god you are so fat?!" '. The customer agreed with her and admitted she wouldn't!

Some people just seem to blurt out whatever is on their mind without using much tact.
 
 
Jun 17th, 2014, 09:21 AM  
Wobbles
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Oops @ Bevz reply ... that sort of made me chuckle, how true with what she said. Although people do seem to have an opinion on when you should stop and 'that is enough' when they know you have been dieting/losing weight.
 
 
Jun 17th, 2014, 09:38 AM  
Justine
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I think it's horrible when people are judgmental about weight or anything else for that matter. I smoked for years and while it's SUPER bad for you, the condescending things that would come out of people's mouths always blew my mind. No matter if it's weight or make up or what the definition is of a "healthy" woman, I feel like people feel free to just say whatever comes to their minds. There is a BIG difference between judging and caring.
 
 
Jun 18th, 2014, 15:15 PM  
TwylaDee
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My cousin knows she's overweight, but she was out with her husband having a celebration meal at an expensive place. She lives an hour away from me but she is my diet partner and I talk to her on the phone every couple days so I know she really tries.

I had a friend years ago that was very thin and flat chested but she couldn't gain weight. She used to get upset that everyone felt that it was okay to comment about her body. So, yes, this does go both ways.

People are so hypocritical too. You'd think they don't own any mirrors of their own.
 
Jun 18th, 2014, 16:08 PM  
GingerJV
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Quote:
Quote by TwylaDee View Post
My cousin knows she's overweight, but she was out with her husband having a celebration meal at an expensive place. She lives an hour away from me but she is my diet partner and I talk to her on the phone every couple days so I know she really tries.

I had a friend years ago that was very thin and flat chested but she couldn't gain weight. She used to get upset that everyone felt that it was okay to comment about her body. So, yes, this does go both ways.

People are so hypocritical too. You'd think they don't own any mirrors of their own.
That is a great idea! Just get out of your purce a mirror! And show the abuser his/her own reflection! Without any words! It is a good way to show to the hypocrites what you think about their opinion
 
 
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